Since my early teenage years, I have always conceptualized love as a spiritual, internal, and intimate construct among people, our environment, nature and its livings, and the Universe. Even though I acknowledge that I can love others profoundly, the path towards self-love and self-affirmation has been marked with many setbacks and self-doubts.
I heart my media because it constantly reminds me to love myself. I first encountered media when I was six years old. My father was amazed by Lady Gaga’s music, so one evening he introduced me to her art by showing me a Youtube music video of her song “Bad Romance”. This was the very first time when I saw a music video. This was the first time when I was on a social media platform. This was the beginning of my relationship with media, ironically marked as a “bad romance”.
Life can seem complicated and troublesome for young adults. The media has been with me through all these difficult moments of my life when I was questioning myself, searching for my purpose and my voice. Media ignited my aspirations by giving me a platform to speak up and to express the most intimate thoughts, provided me with support from social media communities, fostered and nourished my spiritual world with daily yoga and meditation videos on Youtube. Thus, my relationship with myself is relatively linked to my connection with my media – both go hand in hand with one another and consequently fulfill my world.
The relationship that I have with myself sometimes seems like a “bad romance”, similar to the one I have with my media. The self-comparison to strangers on Instagram, frightening news reports about inhumane actions in our society, and cyberbullying are inevitable parts of this relationship, and it has an immense contribution to the uncertainty and powerlessness that I constantly feel. Similarly, my anxiety, unconscious decisions, and insecurities create the same pattern. Therefore, the intimate, personal, and spiritual relationship that I strive to have with myself constantly overlaps and coincides with the one I seek to have with my media.
But I repeatedly remind myself that love has many sides, and I consciously choose to experience all forms that this love takes.
Student id: 13959018