Media: My Own Personal Wonderland

The way I speak about my media is not the way the average middle-aged man would speak about his. The way I speak about my media is not the way an 8-year-old child would speak about theirs. Most would agree that everyone views media differently and has a different connection to it and perspective on it. My media is a mix of social media, romance novels, netflix, and Taylor Swifts entire discography. My media is something that has followed me, like most people my age, all my life. I’ve tried to escape it, believe me. On days when I felt down or drained, social media was there to distract me from the emotional turmoil that comes with being a teenager. However, I noticed quickly that often media (more often social media) were tools I used to numb out emotions, rather than deal with them head on. Overuse of my media sometimes would make me feel even worse, like that strange feeling you get when you’re bored but don’t want to do anything but don’t want to be bored either. Emptiness. Sometimes I couldn’t help but wonder… maybe media are less an escape and more a numbing device, there to help you feel less when you feel too much. Or maybe media ARE an escape. When going down this rabbit hole, you wonder if this is even a bad thing. Are media a misunderstood wonderland, filled with possibilites, distractions, entertainment, knowledge and wisdom (or lack thereof), or is it exactly what facebook moms say, a tool that one day will turn us all into emotionless zombies? Again, this is a question that will never have a factual answer. My emotions towards media are not your emotions, so we will probably never have the same perspective on media. What I know now is that there will never be a time in my life where I will not be living in media… so I might as well glorify it. With this in mind, I can confidently say I do love my media sometimes because it provides that escape from reality, which is sometimes needed. I turn on my phone every morning and never know what to expect. It has come to a point where things that seem completely absurd are just that, absurd but not surprising. I’ve grown accustomed to the wonderful, strange things on the internet. Of course, sometimes these things are less wonderful and more terrifying, but you can never have the good and wonderful without the bad and terrible. Taking a step further, I could even say that media has become my NEW reality… a reality I go to to escape the one I’m in now. When I feel homesick, when I miss my family, when I feel lonely or vulnerable. Or when I feel melancholic and lay in bed and listen to Adele for 5 hours straight. Even in times when I’m happy and the sun is shining, I use my media to let my friends know I’m in a good mood. Pretty soon, these two realities will merge into one, if they haven’t already. They can be overwehlming and distracting and cloud my head, but they can also be a world of connection and depth and inspiration. I haven’t learnt to have one without the other yet, but maybe this is impossible. So sometimes I love my media, and sometimes I hate my media… but at least I have my media.

Student ID: 13917528, Giuliana Raidt

Published by deuzemedialife

Mediastudies, University of Amsterdam

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