I hate media. I’d often seek out hateful content intentionally, to some limited extent I still do. Much like others would seek to physically hurt themselves, I would go online to indulge in a more discreet form of self-harm. I’d go through posts by people who do not understand and do not want to understand, I’d read the comments, sometimes even getting into yet another flamewar in a vain attempt to defend my humanity -that they so relished in depriving me of-. Media provided a place for all these people to come together and circlejerk around their common hatred of “the others”. What would have otherwise been small pockets of vitriol sparsely spread across the globe, were, now, massive webs spanning every corner of the earth. Media led me to a dark place, a place of self-hatred and fear. I hate media.
I love media. When I was all alone in my room, crying in despair, media would let me reach out for help. When feeling down, I would go look at videos of cute animals or people, in faraway lands, enjoying life, and briefly share in their happiness. Even more recently, when I was sexually assaulted and had seemingly none to turn to, media gave me -and countless others like me- refuge. Through media, people suffering in silence, lost and alone, were given a voice, and it was powerful. Our small pockets of resistance were woven into a global bastion of hope and support. Media provided me with a glimpse of sunshine through my darkest hour. This is Why I ❤ My Media.