Ideal world

Too much to say, fish cannot live without water, I cannot survive without media. Life is hard, media is ideal.

When I was little, I spent almost a full day watching cartoons, TV shows, dramas, and whatever you can find on that television. I always had questions in mind. Why people could be filmed in the television, and their life looks so interesting and so different? Are those things going to happen on me as well one day? Why don’t I have the super power just like the characters on the screen? That is, my parents saw media as “toxic” for children, not because my questions, but for the hours watching, and they carried out strict media restrictions, because media attracts me so much that it distracted my attention from “socialising” around with friends and going to do physical activities. I rebelled, but now I agree with my parents, excessively media use is not good for children at all when I one day got myopia. I sometimes want to query myself- why would you spent so much times on the fake stories that has nothing to do with you rather than hanging out with friends or doing something else interesting? I ended up with: because I enjoy to be in my ideal world.

When I grew up a little bit, I got my first smartphone. I was so overjoyed and proud. In my point of view, only a big person can have a phone like a teacher, business man, or my parents. Therefore, having a phone means so much to me, like an icon showing the whole world that I became a big girl. I explored my phone by uploading apps, some were games, some were entertaining, and some were social software. It brought me a happy mood when I was upset with my school life, or struggled with my homework. It was a way to avoid facing something frustrating in my life, and the media world was what I want. I also chat with some of my unclose friends online. I found I can talk more easily and naturally with them across the screen. Social media became a better place for me to socialise with those strangers.  It made me felt involved.

As I grew older, Media became more and more important to me, and they were still creating a safe, comfort and ideal place. After I became an international student and went over the sea. I met a lot of difficulties, obstacles, and experienced different kinds of frustrating. Therefore, In my spare time, I numb myself by watching lots of happy ended and fiction movies, TV shows and novels, even though I know these can’t happen in the real world. I rely on them, however, I can figure out and separate the real and the ideal, but I really need them for mental healing.

The two of “real medias” I like are the FaceTime and online chatting. They are the only ways to meet with my family and friends. I cannot imagine what will happen without them in my life abroad. Family is my strong backing, and friends in my homeland give me supports. I love them, but I am not able to be with them, whereas media build the bridge between us linking our heart together.

No media, no me.

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Published by deuzemedialife

Mediastudies, University of Amsterdam

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