I grew fond of media, I was obsessed with technology, from video consoles to phones and now cameras. When I was a kid, I was inquisitive and to me, nothing was more complex and fascinating to explore than media. It gave me purpose at times when I was lost and told me to seek help when I felt like I needed it. My imagination and sense of creativity expanded, and my knowledge in topics like arts, philosophy, and psychology was improved, consequently, in addition to being a subject of media, I became part of it. I started creating media, practicing photography, editing, and painting, thus, changing the course of my life and partially changing myself. As an aspiring artist, media have provided me with all sorts of inspiration, ideas, and the chance for my work to be seen, I feel quite lucky for accessing such a big universe where I was able to learn and grow. Grateful, and happy for having such a privilege, I must admit that although media gave me practically everything, it also destroyed parts of me that I couldn’t recover.
As a media student, I am now more aware of what I am being exposed to; however, my 14-year-old self did not. Instead of learning and growing as a person, I was learning and picking what I should change about my image to fit the standards best; In part, media crammed me with shame and pushed me to become something I am not. In addition to social standards, I was exploring the dark side of media; I honestly mostly blame myself for this part, because I fairly knew what I was exposing myself to. Nevertheless, I used to spend a lot of time reading stories about the most inhumane acts, watching violent and explicit videos that mostly contained terrorist acts and hate crimes. I don’t think I was as aware of how much the content I was consuming affected me as I am now. It made me feel hopeless, and drastically deteriorated my mental health. I regrettably say that I have not been the same ever since.
So, how do I feel about media? I suppose I feel ambivalent. I love my media as I stated before, but I am also frustrated by it; It can be helpful and inspirational, yet sometimes overwhelming. I want to add that now I feel better about my media and the way I consume it. It’s safe to say that, learning how to critically evaluate the information and content we are exposed to is a key component to being happy with our media.