When the question of how I love my media arose, I lagged in a google document for several minutes before I could even remotely organize my thoughts towards my relationship with it. My media terrifies me, calms me, informs me, gives me opportunities and worries me. Emotions that as the media become ubiquitous, become part of me and eliminate the opportunity of having a one sided opinion.
When I wake up, I check my phone. I love checking instagram, pinterest and immersing myself in my personalised ‘for you pages’ that fuel my love of fashion and photography. I love the opportunity of going on Whatsapp and calling my family or best friends, who have dispersed around the world, seeing them and hearing their voice through my device. When I’m having anxiety, I jump on an app in search of positive content or distraction. It helps. My media makes me happy. Media and working within it gives me career opportunities, something that’s not hard to love. Its impact fascinates me and having worked with several intriguing media personalities excites me. And as lovely as that may seem, my satisfaction with it frightens me.
I cannot be away from my mobile phone for more than a few minutes in fear that I’ll miss someone trying to contact me, or an important notification. It’s boring for me to cook if I dont have Netflix blasting in the background building a feel of coziness. I follow models on instagram and restrict my diet and google plastic surgery fitting for my ever growing media insecurities. I feel guilty when my boyfriend, friends or family point out my attachment with my phone, but anxious when they jokefully take it away. That scares me. I am no longer able to sit down and read a whole book a day in a nice spot, go on a date or even fight without the involvement or distraction of the media.
Thus concluding my perspectives, I don’t think I am able to ever answer the question why I love my media, because like a past love, I truly want to believe that I don’t.
Student Number : 13028308