I am struggling to put words to why I love you, media.
Never have I viewed our relationship as a loving one, but coming to terms with the fact that it may be love make things clearer.
Love is complex and hard to put in words, our codependency and constant uncertainty towards each other may be love, but it is also hatred and confusion, with moments of happiness.
I have been surrounded by you all my life; we grew up together and stayed together.
You were there when I moved to a new country by myself; your being there made me feel less lonely as this gave me all possible opportunities for communication with my family and loved ones back home.
You allow me to portrait myself and my persona in whichever way I want, seeming as creative, mysterious, or adventurous as I want to be, and I love you for it but not the pressure it puts me under. Somedays, I want to seem perfect, but other days, I want to be real. It is a constant struggle while living in your world.
You and everyone within you expect me to always be there, to always be available to reply, react and repost. Being completely disconnected from you is no longer an option, if it ever has been. It is not healthy to always be together, to always be connected, but you and your environment make me believe it is. I crave being away from you, but it is impossible for me to leave.
Love is addictive, and even if I sometimes hate us being together, I still love you.
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