Why I Heart My Media

It’s no doubt that media is a crucial part in modern day, appears in every walks of life. I was born in 2003, my childhood was surrounded with TV, radio, cell phone, later was the introduction of smart phone. Disney channel and Cartoon Network were my favorite TV channels. I remembered being extremely excited to home after a day at kindergarten school to watch 2 episodes of Detective Conan every 6.00 p.m while eating dinner. My favorite cartoon would be Oggy and the Cockroaches and Phineas and Ferb I think. Or I would just turn on the TV and watch any cartoons I can find. It is addictive for a kid like me. My mum always said: “You have to finish eating the meal within this 15-minute episode”. I’m proud to say that I have watched all Barbie films, it was a milestone for me.

Growing up older, my go-to TV channel are HBO movies and Cinemax. They usually broadcast Star Trek series and Harry Potter at late night, I don’t even remember how many times I have watched these films again and again on these channels. Just like any other adults, my parents were worried that if I used computer or smart phone, I would be addicted to them and then fail the classes. So when I was in primary school, my father brought his old PC home and let me play any online games for 1 hour max. Thus, I explored a whole new world, everything was new, unique and feels like an “unknown territory”. I searched some keyword on Google such as “cooking games”, “funny games”, “fashion games” and then proceeded to browse any search results. It was undeniably funny to waste time on these games.

Later in middle school, my parents realized that I needed to have personal devices to help with my study, so I got my iPad at 12 and a smart phone at 14. School curriculum in Asia countries is really hard and the expectation is high so apart from lectures at school, I had to watch additional online lectures or any YouTube tutorials at night. I jokingly told my friends that Photomath and Chemical Balance are the two apps that helped save my grades. I legit thought I would fail these two apps did not exist :)) I use the Internet to search for study materials, build profiles on social media platforms, connect with my friends and teachers, build friendships online. What are the features that I love? I love message autofills. Whenever you get verification code to purchase anything online or log in social accounts, the verification code will pop up on top of the keyboard and you just have to press on it to enter in the blank space given. Up till now, in my opinion, I still think that message autofills and the bidet (not relatable but oops Europe, you should catch up on this) are the best inventions ever 🙂

Talk about what I hate when it comes to media. The first thing is that I think I’m kinda addicted to Wattpad. Of course reading stuffs is mad fun, but sometimes I’m worried about the amount of time I spend on this app. It’s addictive, it’s intimate, I frequently force myself to cut my sleeping time to read stories on that orange app. If you wonder what do I read on it, it’s a secret 🤫

When I first built my online profiles, I have some wrong, misleading notions. I caught myself adding too many friends, wasting too much time wasting on the wrong people, being in the wrong crowd, having not-so-worth-it, fake friendships. Covid 19 gave me time to rethink about literally everything. I unfriended a lot of people, posted less contents, my friend lists went from a few thousands to around 70 people. I deleted shit posts on my Instagram, set private and only posted “very” personal content on close friends story. After doing all these, I just feel better about everything, I have less anger and frustration. I started wearing glasses in the 3rd grade. I always believe I got uglier after that. Therefore, in my teenage years, I’m scared to look at the mirror or appear in any group photos or selfies.

Up till now, I’m still afraid of looking at myself in the front camera or accidentally appear in anyone’s photo. Seeing stuffs about the “allegedly beauty standards” online just deepens the fear. I’m considered skinny in Western beauty standards, so I always try to do exercises to look a certain way. I caught myself searching “how to remove cellulites, stretch marks” or “how to remove hip dips”. It makes me anxious every time I think about it. The last thing I hate is the new YouTube updates. I mean, why the fuck they just make it so hard to change to resolution of the videos. Now I have to press resolution, then advanced, then 1080p. It’s just too confusing sometimes.

That’s all I feel the need to say. I love the media, and I hate it too at the same time.

Student number: 13590804

Published by deuzemedialife

Mediastudies, University of Amsterdam

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