Facebook Girlfriend

I have always had mixed feelings about my relationship with media. They offer me so much but so little at the same time. They can make me strive or hold me back. They can make me happy or make me sad. I can feel the need and importance of media every single minute but sense a part of me that wants nothing to do with them. Media feel two-faced.

Despite the duality, media have shaped me into the person I am today. Looking at social media in particular, the role it plays in our life is immense. I remember my first relationship in the first year of high school. After a handful of awkward dates and cautious kisses I received a Facebook message, you can guess what it said. I had to break a tear, because I now lost someone special in my life and had to change my Facebook status. Not much later I scouted a different girl to be the new star in my status, letting everyone know I was still in the game. To my surprise not a lot of girls like to be a backup girlfriend so it came to a halt rather soon. Now my status was empty again. It almost felt like I needed a girlfriend to be cool and respected. Having the power to pull a girl makes you cool, at least that’s what social media taught me. This was not the only thing I did to try and fit in. Through classmates and others I felt the pressure to change who I really was and create something fake. I was in constant need of attention, sending out daily Snapchats and weird posts on Instagram just to get a reaction from someone, really anyone. It came to a point where people started to make fun of me trying to fit in, making my insecurities even bigger and having a long lasting impact.

To this day I wonder how my school career would have gone without any social media. The only reason I am happy things have gone this way is because of where I am now. Being insecure and feeling lonely has met me with the challenge to try and find my true self and made me a stronger human being to this day. I guess media are not that bad after all. 

Student ID: 13966464

Published by deuzemedialife

Mediastudies, University of Amsterdam

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