Media are not even that bad

Before sitting down to my laptop and actually starting to write about what relationship I have with my media, I thought that I could only talk about its’ negative side. How insecure those perfect Instagram photos of others can make me feel. How sad I can be when I see pictures of couples out having fun when I am still stuck at the talking stage or not even talking to anyone. How furious I am when people post under the hashtag ‘food porn’ while I am eating my pre-made pizza because that is the only food I can make. How annoyed I can become when I see people doing DIYs while I cannot even draw a stick figure. How sometimes I think that if I had the chance, I would want to live that character’s life from a film or series. All of that is true, sometimes I struggle because media reminds me of my weaknesses.

But now that I have thought about media more deeply, I feel like I appreciate this side of it too. Of course, I was always conscious that its advantages like making communication easier, helping to stay in touch with loved ones, easing regular day-to-day activities, such as travelling, shopping, getting entertainment etc. are present. What I think of right now are the things media draws my attention to about myself. It shows me traits that I am not necessarily proud of, or parts of me (both physical and mental) that I do not really appreciate. It confirms that I am a human being, I am definitely imperfect, I have different feelings, flaws and things can bother me. Without media I would not want to acknowledge these.

Even though not every experience I have had with media made me feel great, I somehow still chose to open that one site or app and look at the pictures or videos that made me feel ‘weird’, to take that one photo while I was crying about something that media generated in me, and of course to send that embarrassing text message while I was drunk. Media helps me to remember that there are times when I feel like hell, and that is completely normal. And ironically reliving those moments sometimes can make me the happiest. 

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