Why I Heart My Media

why i love my media. 

i love my media, because it is a safety blanket that i can wrap around myself.

clicking on youtube whenever i feel down, and drooling over cooking videos or laughing about trixie and katya within seconds. 

being able to talk to my friends or family, even though we are not close in proximity. 

biking or walking around, and listening to music through my headphones; silencing the whirlwind of thoughts in my head, making me feel at peace.

having my personal comfort movies, that i can watch whenever i need them.

watching movies with my beloved, laughing together, swooning together, crying together; when i think about it, is what i like doing best. 

but the line between love and hate is extremely thin: hence why my love for media can easily turn into hate.

i hate scrolling on social media, seeing people i look up to, inevitably comparing myself and feeling disappointed when i realize i am not and will never be like them; the thought that there is always someone cooler, funnier, more social, more stylish, and overall better than me.

getting no response from people when i need it urgently, even though our phones are at all times either within our sight or on our bodies. 

seeing people stare on their screens instead of looking around more, really seeing and appreciating the small things; and when they do actually see them, having to take a picture or video of it.

coming to the conclusion that media might not be that beneficial to my life. 

and then there is the ever-lurking thought of throwing my laptop and phone into a large body of water and calling it a day…

so there: my love (and hate) letter to media.

student id: 14097869

It’s no doubt that media is a crucial part in modern day, appears in every walks of life. I was born in 2003, my childhood was surrounded with TV, radio, cell phone, later was the introduction of smart phone. Disney channel and Cartoon Network were my favorite TV channels. I remembered being extremely excited to home after a day at kindergarten school to watch 2 episodes of Detective Conan every 6.00 p.m while eating dinner. My favorite cartoon would be Oggy and the Cockroaches and Phineas and Ferb I think. Or I would just turn on the TV and watch any cartoons I can find. It is addictive for a kid like me. My mum always said: “You have to finish eating the meal within this 15-minute episode”. I’m proud to say that I have watched all Barbie films, it was a milestone for me.

Growing up older, my go-to TV channel are HBO movies and Cinemax. They usually broadcast Star Trek series and Harry Potter at late night, I don’t even remember how many times I have watched these films again and again on these channels. Just like any other adults, my parents were worried that if I used computer or smart phone, I would be addicted to them and then fail the classes. So when I was in primary school, my father brought his old PC home and let me play any online games for 1 hour max. Thus, I explored a whole new world, everything was new, unique and feels like an “unknown territory”. I searched some keyword on Google such as “cooking games”, “funny games”, “fashion games” and then proceeded to browse any search results. It was undeniably funny to waste time on these games.

Later in middle school, my parents realized that I needed to have personal devices to help with my study, so I got my iPad at 12 and a smart phone at 14. School curriculum in Asia countries is really hard and the expectation is high so apart from lectures at school, I had to watch additional online lectures or any YouTube tutorials at night. I jokingly told my friends that Photomath and Chemical Balance are the two apps that helped save my grades. I legit thought I would fail these two apps did not exist :)) I use the Internet to search for study materials, build profiles on social media platforms, connect with my friends and teachers, build friendships online. What are the features that I love? I love message autofills. Whenever you get verification code to purchase anything online or log in social accounts, the verification code will pop up on top of the keyboard and you just have to press on it to enter in the blank space given. Up till now, in my opinion, I still think that message autofills and the bidet (not relatable but oops Europe, you should catch up on this) are the best inventions ever

Talk about what I hate when it comes to media. The first thing is that I think I’m kinda addicted to Wattpad. Of course reading stuffs is mad fun, but sometimes I’m worried about the amount of time I spend on this app. It’s addictive, it’s intimate, I frequently force myself to cut my sleeping time to read stories on that orange app. If you wonder what do I read on it, it’s a secret

When I first built my online profiles, I have some wrong, misleading notions. I caught myself adding too many friends, wasting too much time wasting on the wrong people, being in the wrong crowd, having not-so-worth-it, fake friendships. Covid 19 gave me time to rethink about literally everything. I unfriended a lot of people, posted less contents, my friend lists went from a few thousands to around 70 people. I deleted shit posts on my Instagram, set private and only posted “very” personal content on close friends story. After doing all these, I just feel better about everything, I have less anger and frustration. I started wearing glasses in the 3rd grade. I always believe I got uglier after that. Therefore, in my teenage years, I’m scared to look at the mirror or appear in any group photos or selfies.

Up till now, I’m still afraid of looking at myself in the front camera or accidentally appear in anyone’s photo. Seeing stuffs about the “allegedly beauty standards” online just deepens the fear. I’m considered skinny in Western beauty standards, so I always try to do exercises to look a certain way. I caught myself searching “how to remove cellulites, stretch marks” or “how to remove hip dips”. It makes me anxious every time I think about it. The last thing I hate is the new YouTube updates. I mean, why the fuck they just make it so hard to change to resolution of the videos. Now I have to press resolution, then advanced, then 1080p. It’s just too confusing sometimes.

That’s all I feel the need to say. I love the media, and I hate it too at the same time.

Student number: 13590804

I must have been sixteen. In a country where you must be very careful with how you act or what you say, because you don’t want people to know you are gay. My days were filled with this desire to belong, to be validated, accepted; “I see you, and I love you”.

How many hours must I have spent on social media, dating apps, and facebook events to meet people? Searching for something tangible, someone, who can make my days go by nicer, who can show me life gets better, that I am accepted. I found it, not a something, but an endless collection of “somethings” and “someones”: media.

But, after all these hours of feeling like I found a place where I belong, came the pressure to immerse myself in such place, with that came rejection, fear, disgust, insecurities, by my own people. People that told me I was not skinny enough, or manly enough, or beautiful enough, or smart enough, to the point I lost faith in my community, and I lost faith in me, all of this through an app made for people like me, that I thought was a safe place.

This changed. I changed, I ended up moving away from my country, and here, now, I know I am in control on which media I want to see, what people I want to interact with through media, and to not care when a painful comment pops up on my screen, media taught me to choose what affects me and what not, media showed me incredible people, and places I can be myself, and surround myself with love, I found a safe haven through media. And whenever insecurities arise, and unpleasant comments show up, media reminds me, that ignoring that is as simple as scrolling past it, and move on.

Student ID: 13911538

i heart my media because i feel safe with it.

my media feels like a hug.

i find myself watching the same movies over and over again without getting bored, and to me its form of reassurance; i know how the movie will end and i feel “in control”, which i never feel in the real world.

music is also very special to me. just one song can be so reminiscent. so warm. one song can remind you of a moment in your life you wish would last forever or wish you forgot.

my media is basically my escape.

-tamara

student number id: 13665979

Media are my gateway, my distraction and pause button from reality when everything around me seems so overwhelming and I feel so small… that’s what I thought up until now. For the longest time I have viewed my media as an escapism from unpleasant “irl” situations, but that has changed. What if their purpose is not to help me flee from reality but to help me enhance and take my reality to the next level? What if they don’t aim to dissociate me from my surroundings and numb me but instead raise my spirits? What if they do not keep me imprisoned in my own thoughts but help me transform as a person?

Funnily, the sudden shift from perceiving my media as a form of escapism to seeing it as a tool to enrich my offline experience has occured to me while riding my bike along Amsterdam’s canals at dusk. Yeah sure, riding a bike and letting your mind wander off while enjoying the views of the gloomy city is beautiful and therapeutic in itself, but have you ever tried doing it while playing the soundtrack to your life on Spotify? I’ve never felt more alive (apart from when I’m at concerts with friends I have made online, which is a whole other story, but another reason why I love my media) than when the wind brushed through my hair and the drums kicked in at the right moment. But that’s not all that’s to it… depending on what song I played I could shape the way I viewed the different parts of the city I was driving through in any way I liked. Honestly, I just felt like the main character in a music video. No… actually, in that moment I felt like I could be anyone I wanted to be. The endless possibilities of who I can be in media and the sparsely knitted social network I have created through them are another example of how media make me feel more alive and enrich my perception of reality. There are no boundaries as to who I can be, what I can like or dislike, what I can do or can’t do; it feels like I am liberated from everyone’s expectations and social norms they try to make me conform to.

Obviously, this is a more positive approach to my media life. I think consuming media isn’t all roses but for the sake of bringing more positivity into this debate I decided to stick to a more positive outlook on it.

Student number: 13569163

When I was a child, my parents were always busy due to work, so they often couldn’t go home to accompany me. Therefore, a DVD projector at home was my greatest joy when my parents were not at home. I can still remember that I watched many animations and movies on the projector: Transformers, Titanic, Astro Boy, Pokémon, The best in Chinese, Black Jack, and so on. These animations and movies have brought me a lot of happiness, each one of them brought me into a fantasy world, and at the same time, these stories gave me unlimited imagination of life.

When I grew up, I found that these experiences in contact with the media were extremely valuable. In the creation of my media works, I always think of the films I watched when I was a child. They sometimes touch me, sometimes make me happy, or sometimes make me sad, but without exception, these stories buried a dream in my heart: Using the media to bring happiness to others.

The media is the art of making dreams. With the help of the media, people can escape from ordinary daily life. We can see those shocking scenes or legendary stories. We can see the starry night sky, the abysmal sea, and the vast universe. Their imagination turned into reality and spread to others through media.

This is why I choose to study Media. I hope that someday in the future, my works can also bring happiness and dreams to others.

Student number: 13532375

Nowadays, the boundaries between life in and outside media are becoming more blurred and harder to define. People tend to not realize how integrated humans and their devices really are. Because of the fusion between humans and technology, reality and virtuality, etc. “the unknown” generate tense and complex emotions in people. Almost everybody has their opinion of what the future will look like in terms of technology and the media environment.  Some are scared that machines will replace them at their jobs; others feel excited about new devices and opportunities. Now I would put myself in the second group, but it wasn’t always like that. 

When I was a kid, just starting my journey with media, I felt frightened by technologies and the environment. I had this kind of irrational fear in my head. Every second, while I was using my computer or phone, I felt like someone was constantly watching me through the camera. I thought that my every move was monitored and felt like I was in some kind of danger while using devices. The feeling was getting so intense that I stopped participating in media outside of watching movies on tv (without a camera!). 

Years later, when I grew up, I realized that I’d never felt this extreme emotional state ever after that phase. That got me thinking – why was I so scared? Do I just hate technology as a kid? Why would I? Was it just a childish irrational fear? And even if, why technology? Why not the boogeyman or ghosts? Or maybe I was right, and there is something to be scared of. 

As a teenager, when I have met my friends and discovered I could text and communicate with them all day long, it gave me a new fun and exciting feeling. It made me feel connected with everyone close to me, anywhere I was. So I still felt like there was someone all the time – but more in a comforting way. It made me feel safe and secure. So the complete opposite to what I was feeling earlier.

A few years later, I’ve become inseparable from my devices. They provided me everything I’ve asked for – knowledge, entertainment, contact with loved ones. I realized that it was a part of me. A piece of me that I don’t want to be afraid of. That I need to understand better. That media is a much bigger, fascinating, and constantly changing inner world. That is why I study media. To answer my questions from the past and those many that appear whenever I dive into the mysterious world of media.

Student ID: 13970100

Media is everywhere. Whether we are at University, at concerts, in grocery stores, or even during our most intimate and personal time of the day, on the toilet. It’s astonishing to see how we automatically grab our smartphone if we leave the house, or go on social media the first thing in the morning – if you ask me its even more terrifying how this has become part of a routine to most of us. Of course, if you ask me, i am blessed and happy to have access to media and be part of a living culture, however, it scares me how obsessed we can get, how we are automatically missing out on a life like we used to know, how time consuming media has become to us, subconsciously.

I miss getting those house phone calls from my next door neighbors asking if i have time to hangout, I miss spending time outside in nature without any distractions of people saying “what was your Insta name, I need to tag you in my story!” or going out for Lunch or dinner without having to wait for my company to be done getting the “perfect shot” and angle of the served food. It has created a type of frustration I need to deal with personally. Im not saying I don’t post my activities or food on instagram but it just has become a routine that we live in which we cant even imagine living without. Is Sad, to think about how media manages us, how media empowers us but also how media intimidates us, how we try and stay up to date to the latest fashion trends but automatically compare ourselves to others?! This seems strange but it is our reality we live in. We always deny the fact that Media makes us compare ourselves to others but it manipulates our brains and forces us to subconsciously think “bad” about ourselves or other people. There are plenty more examples I could blabber on for days but even the fact that I criticizing Media makes me angry that it has such a massive impact on me.

In my opinion I cant say I love Media, or I heart media, thats why I put the heart in apostrophes because i have a love hate relationship with media. On one hand I “LOVE” media for it allowing us to share our experiences and connecting with people all around the world, for keeping us up to date on nearly everything, for helping me procrastinate while i should be studying etc. But on the other hand I “HATE” Media because it consumes too much time of our precious time that we will never get back, all those hours scrolling through Instagram or Tiktok, or sending ugly snaps to friends or even swiping on Tinder, no one will ever give us back that time we wasted on Media, not even Media itself can ever give us back the time we’ve spent on it. Its sad and terrifying to think about how we are letting our time past while media has the power over us.

Student ID: 1247817